I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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