Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
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