u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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