Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize