its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
There's even glitter on my cock...
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