I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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