I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
