weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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