Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
