all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
