just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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