your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize