I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
