Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Green mimosas i think yes
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
