Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
