dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
