We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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