I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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