what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
