Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is the high leading the old right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
