Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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