Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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