Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
