at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
