watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
