I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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