I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
