Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize