Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
