I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
