We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
