Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do vagina's smell?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
