There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize