Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize