So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
