Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
