I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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