Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
there is glitter all over my balls
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
