I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
