Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
