Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
