Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
