you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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