quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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