is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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