Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
