But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
