is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
