I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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