i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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