think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The feeling are messing with the penis
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
