another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
