And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
