Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't turn off my feet"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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