you have to choose: penises or morals?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
