Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just gargled with NyQuil
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
