Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
