He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you didnt know i had herpes?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
