Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
