Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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