yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I believe in your delicious
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
