I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
