I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
