i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
