Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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