i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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