she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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